Sunday, September 28, 2008

How church hurts and helps

Since we have moved to a new city a year and a half ago we have had problems finding a church that felt comfortable to us. A few weeks before I had my miscarriage people at work were randomly inviting me to their church. I remember going home and saying "God, I am taking your hint that we need to go back to church." I am glad that he saw the need to encourage me to attend church before my miscarriage. We tried two before my miscarriage. One of which I love and we have still been visiting. Every Sunday that I go I love the sermons and they have had much more meaning to me since our miscarriage. However, every Sunday brings a sadness as I sit in church and look around at all of the families together. Sundays have been a time of healing, but in some aspects have been hard on me. I guess it is part of this whole process.

On a brighter note, my friend April who was had preeclampysia gave birth at 25 weeks to a healthy baby girl, Ansley. In a weird way her giving birth has helped me heal. Seeing the miracle from the beginning to the birth and experiencing along side her, what she is going through. All the while watching both mom and daughter stay strong and survive, has given me a new hope in all that I feel was lost in my miscarriage.


Jess said...

God works in mysterious ways! I know exactly how you feel. I love going to church but it hurts to see all the newborns.

A said...

I know how you feel about being sad when you see families at church. Some days I find comfort in church and other days it's just so hard. I read this saying the other day that really made sense to me..."God doesn't give us what we can't handle, God helps us handle what we are given" I love this saying because I really believe its true! I'll keep praying for you and I hope you are doing well :)