I was so nervous this morning getting ready for my half marathon. Yes, I have trained since August. Yes, I have run 12 miles. But 13.1? Nope I have not done that. You see when training for a race the idea is you train to a mileage that is super close to the race day mileage but you save the big miles for race day. I got downtown and parking was a disaster. I got the car parked and the porta potty line was ridiculous. So I held it. Bad idea for a mommy of two in 40 degree weather , no? So I started the race. What excitement, exhilaration and bladder pain. There were so many inspirational moments along the race today. Our course runs past a large senior living facility. It was so sweet to see them lined up on the race course cheering us on. The sign that read "the faster you run, the faster you brunch". The moment I ran over the 10k mark and knew the MMP and Jay were getting a text. Then Rhianna's Umbrella song came on my iPod and I felt my best friends with me. It's our official/unofficial song. The couple I saw that located each other and gave each other a kiss. The little girl who was so excited to see her mommy on the race course. The kids on the street stopped with their hands out for you to high five them. The friends who wore shirts that read "it's all about the sticker". It is indeed all about the sticker and the medal. The sign that made me laugh said "run faster i just tooted". A very special thank you to Lady Gaga, who arrived on my iPod around mile 12 when I needed her the most. The two moments I will never forget... Seeing my family moments before I crossed the finish line and Aiden saying "congratulations mommy" which indeed made this mommy cry. I had so much support while training. My husband who cheered me on and watched the kids every Saturday morning. My MMP who asked and supported me throughout the entire training. My sister in law who wrote me a very inspirational card this week and sent a gift card for Krispy Kreme :) along with some awesome running clothes for my birthday. And without further ado...
Stop. Stop assuming that the US is comprised of middle aged white men. Stop hoping that you can win a presidential election with projections that African Americans and Hispanics won't vote. Stay out if my uterus. Give homosexuals the right to marry. Your tax plans and debt reduction and plans for small businesses mean very little to me when you can't treat everyone in this nation with respect. Stop saying things like you don't care about the 47% and that a woman's body can prevent pregnancy during a legitimate rape. And of course I believe that not all republicans believe these things. However, I have read more discriminatory, racist and hateful rhetoric coming from republicans recently than I ever want to experience again. This a changing nation. You need to change your party.
You see Aiden's preschool teacher does a reward system called "friendly fish". When she catches the kids doing something nice and friendly, they earn a plastic fish and once the class earns enough fish they get a prize. Aiden came home with play dough on Monday. Except it is from the dollar store and says dough pâté on the tub. Finding humor in little things like this, I have walked around all week talking about playing with dough pâté. Sounds fancy and French, right? Well this morning, we were sitting at the kitchen table and I said "Rory, would you like to see the dough pâté?" And Aiden says "No mommy! That is MY dough pâté!!" I thought I would die of laughter. I even have Aiden calling it dough pâté. Good stuff.
So far today Aiden has been a barrel of laughs. I swear this kid has a personality on him that will take him far in life. He had a major crying fit when I threw out an old nasty loofah. Apparently I was being a mean old lady to the loofah, that wasn't even his. Then when he took shower with the new loofah, he tried to use the rope on the loofah to hang it from his penis. Looked like a good spot to hang things from apparently. (One day my child will kill me for posting this on the google machine). Then he told me the screwdriver on the counter was dirty. I found it later in the washing machine.
This post is a little late. Ok. A lot late. But, stick with me here. I need to make sure I write some things down.
Being "team green" with my second pregnancy was so much fun. Hearing people's predictions, having my own (which changed each hour of each day) and just the unknown of who was joining our little family was oh so exciting. It is one of those decisions in my life that I have never thought twice about. It also gave me a perspective on my child's personality that I am not sure I would have had otherwise. I really focused on what my child was like without giving them a gender role. I knew this baby was gentle and calm. Their kicks and movement rolled and glided across my belly. The baby often let me sleep at night either because they were so gentle and I couldn't feel the movements or because they were quiet at night too. My belly was small. I was convinced the baby was tiny. I did not look 40 weeks pregnant, though indeed I was. Doctors and other mommies kept telling me that this baby would come earlier than Aiden did. He came at 37 weeks. So needless to say around 36 weeks I was on pins and needles waiting for my water to break.
37 came and went.
38, oh was that? Nope.
39. Was that my water? No, I just peed myself.
Induction? Ok fine, you just hit my "I am a planner and need to know button"
Two days before my induction Gigi arrived by train which was a wonderful experience for Aiden. We took him to the Children's Museum and I tried to soak up every minute of being a family of three. It was a weird experience to know when your child would arrive. Calming, yet odd. Like this ticking clock to a time where you know your life will never be the same.
We arrived at the hospital at 5:30 am on February 9th. Surprisingly I was intensely calm. We checked in and got settled into the delivery room. A temporary nurse came in to get my iV started and she couldn't find a vein, so she poked me several times and on her last attempt, hit a nerve and pain shot through my arm and it went numb. It was so painful, I went white and felt faint. My only thought was "Geeze, it's gonna get worse than this". My doctor broke my water and have me a low dose of pitocin to get my contractions started. I got my epidural soon after (which was done right this time). Thank the pharmacy gods for epidurals. Seriously. Shortly after my epidural, I had a reaction to it and mu body had calmed too much and my heart rate plummeted. They had to give me oxygen and amphetamines to get me back up. A little scary. After that it wasn't too long before reached 10cm. It was all moving very quickly. My wonderful nurse came in and told me when we're going to do a practice push. She got everything set up and reminded me how to push. I did. And she yelled "Stop!! We need the doctor before you do that again" my doctor came in, and asked how I wanted to learn the gender of baby Trout. There was some back and forth between Jay and the doctor. I then said "somebody just tell me!" The doctor told me to push. I pushed once and yet again was told by my dr. "stop." he did something and then I barely pushed again and my baby had arrived. He held the baby up for me to see and I said through my tears "it's a girl". She was beautiful. With a head full of dark hair. I loved her instantly. This is the true definition of love at first sight. She arrived at 10:46 weighing in at 7lbs 14oz. At our hospital they leave the room as soon as possible for an hour of quiet time. No one comes in and if they do, it is quiet and serene. This was the perfect time. Plenty of skin on skin cuddles with mommy and daddy. And time to just be quiet as a new family. Jay was awkwardly quiet for a little while and I like to imagine he was going through the same emotions I did a few years before. How will I raise a child that is a gender I know nothing about? All the while I had visions of bows, pink, tea parties and wedding dress shopping. And somewhere in there I suddenly realized sooo...this is what all the hype is about. I always though mamas who were dying to have a girl were weird. Now I get it. She is my daughter. Gregory Anne. Also known as Rory.
I am in shock that I have a three year old. It seems like just yesterday that he was a baby. Over the past year he has accomplished so many things. Things that seem just so natural to adults, but turn a toddler's world upside down. He moved into his new big boy bedroom and out of the crib. He became potty trained. And the biggest change of all, he became a big brother! He is a wonderful big brother. It took some warming up to her. His personality is like his father's. He must get to know you and trust you, then he will move mountains for you. He loves his little sister very much and always worries if she is fed, dry and happy. Jay and I have been told in the past "I love Rory the most". Aiden is all boy. Rough, dirty, stinky, he does NOT stop moving, and he is lacking in personal hygiene skills. But as his mother I take his punches, comb his hair through the screams, and kiss his stinky fungus feet when he stumps his toes. Because all of those traits make me love him more (though admittedly, they sometimes drive me crazy). He still loves all forms of transportation. Cars, trains, trucks, airplanes and boats. I remember thinking when I was pregnant with Aiden, that my son would not fall into traditional gender roles. I quickly realized before his first birthday that I was delusional, as he pointed at big tractor trailers on the road before he even uttered the words mama or dada. He is persistent. Always. Which at times gets him in to trouble. But I also hope that this persistent trait carries him far in life. He is independent. He could go for hours without knowing where his mommy and daddy are and be ok with it. At theme parks this is evident. Scares me half to death. I love to see your eyes light up when your read a book or I tell some exciting new information. You get super excited about the little things in life. Blue sprinkles, dollar tree trinkets, ice cream, leaves, trains, chips, taking a walk, splashing in puddles, flashlights, cupcakes, and cracking eggs. I could continue this list forever, because honestly most things make you happy. And you son, make me happy. I love you Aiden. Happy Birthday!
-"Today I am pregnant and I love my baby." --"I am pregnant until someone tells me otherwise." --"My past does not dictate my future. A previous m/c does not mean I will have another m/c." --"Just because something sad is happening to another poster, does not mean it will happen to you." We all know m/c and complications are not contagious! -- "Hope does not make bad things happen" You cannot ‘jinx’ your pregnancy by creating a ticker, getting excited, or telling someone. Live in the positive! --And this is the hardest one: "There is nothing I can do to prevent a m/c from happening. Worrying yourself sick doesn't prevent a m/c. And if (gods forbid) it were to happen again, I know I will survive."