So far today Aiden has been a barrel of laughs. I swear this kid has a personality on him that will take him far in life. He had a major crying fit when I threw out an old nasty loofah. Apparently I was being a mean old lady to the loofah, that wasn't even his. Then when he took shower with the new loofah, he tried to use the rope on the loofah to hang it from his penis. Looked like a good spot to hang things from apparently. (One day my child will kill me for posting this on the google machine). Then he told me the screwdriver on the counter was dirty. I found it later in the washing machine.
This post is a little late. Ok. A lot late. But, stick with me here. I need to make sure I write some things down.
Being "team green" with my second pregnancy was so much fun. Hearing people's predictions, having my own (which changed each hour of each day) and just the unknown of who was joining our little family was oh so exciting. It is one of those decisions in my life that I have never thought twice about. It also gave me a perspective on my child's personality that I am not sure I would have had otherwise. I really focused on what my child was like without giving them a gender role. I knew this baby was gentle and calm. Their kicks and movement rolled and glided across my belly. The baby often let me sleep at night either because they were so gentle and I couldn't feel the movements or because they were quiet at night too. My belly was small. I was convinced the baby was tiny. I did not look 40 weeks pregnant, though indeed I was. Doctors and other mommies kept telling me that this baby would come earlier than Aiden did. He came at 37 weeks. So needless to say around 36 weeks I was on pins and needles waiting for my water to break.
37 came and went.
38, oh was that? Nope.
39. Was that my water? No, I just peed myself.
Induction? Ok fine, you just hit my "I am a planner and need to know button"
Two days before my induction Gigi arrived by train which was a wonderful experience for Aiden. We took him to the Children's Museum and I tried to soak up every minute of being a family of three. It was a weird experience to know when your child would arrive. Calming, yet odd. Like this ticking clock to a time where you know your life will never be the same.
We arrived at the hospital at 5:30 am on February 9th. Surprisingly I was intensely calm. We checked in and got settled into the delivery room. A temporary nurse came in to get my iV started and she couldn't find a vein, so she poked me several times and on her last attempt, hit a nerve and pain shot through my arm and it went numb. It was so painful, I went white and felt faint. My only thought was "Geeze, it's gonna get worse than this". My doctor broke my water and have me a low dose of pitocin to get my contractions started. I got my epidural soon after (which was done right this time). Thank the pharmacy gods for epidurals. Seriously. Shortly after my epidural, I had a reaction to it and mu body had calmed too much and my heart rate plummeted. They had to give me oxygen and amphetamines to get me back up. A little scary. After that it wasn't too long before reached 10cm. It was all moving very quickly. My wonderful nurse came in and told me when we're going to do a practice push. She got everything set up and reminded me how to push. I did. And she yelled "Stop!! We need the doctor before you do that again" my doctor came in, and asked how I wanted to learn the gender of baby Trout. There was some back and forth between Jay and the doctor. I then said "somebody just tell me!" The doctor told me to push. I pushed once and yet again was told by my dr. "stop." he did something and then I barely pushed again and my baby had arrived. He held the baby up for me to see and I said through my tears "it's a girl". She was beautiful. With a head full of dark hair. I loved her instantly. This is the true definition of love at first sight. She arrived at 10:46 weighing in at 7lbs 14oz. At our hospital they leave the room as soon as possible for an hour of quiet time. No one comes in and if they do, it is quiet and serene. This was the perfect time. Plenty of skin on skin cuddles with mommy and daddy. And time to just be quiet as a new family. Jay was awkwardly quiet for a little while and I like to imagine he was going through the same emotions I did a few years before. How will I raise a child that is a gender I know nothing about? All the while I had visions of bows, pink, tea parties and wedding dress shopping. And somewhere in there I suddenly realized sooo...this is what all the hype is about. I always though mamas who were dying to have a girl were weird. Now I get it. She is my daughter. Gregory Anne. Also known as Rory.
-"Today I am pregnant and I love my baby." --"I am pregnant until someone tells me otherwise." --"My past does not dictate my future. A previous m/c does not mean I will have another m/c." --"Just because something sad is happening to another poster, does not mean it will happen to you." We all know m/c and complications are not contagious! -- "Hope does not make bad things happen" You cannot ‘jinx’ your pregnancy by creating a ticker, getting excited, or telling someone. Live in the positive! --And this is the hardest one: "There is nothing I can do to prevent a m/c from happening. Worrying yourself sick doesn't prevent a m/c. And if (gods forbid) it were to happen again, I know I will survive."