Joy and frustration

Again, how is it possible I have a nine month old?? The time is flying by.

Nine months ago I left the hospital and felt good about the way I looked. I mean, I thought "oh yeah...I look good for a woman who just had a baby" I was proud of my post-partum figure.

Fast forward nine months and I am beyond frustrated with my figure, the scale, my daily eating, and working out. They always say to you...."It took 9 months to put on the weight, it will take you that long to get it off." Well, 9 months later it is still lingering.

Around March I got serious about eating better and trying to loose the weight. I also started working out again. It was hard, but I did it. I got back in the gym with thoughts of fitting into my pre-pregnancy clothes. I bought a scale to monitor my weight and got a wonderful trainer who kicks my butt every week. Jay ended up having to take the scale away from me after I would weigh myself sometimes twice daily. So instead of stressing out about the number on the scale, I continued what I was doing and tried not to pay attention to how much weight I was loosing. Then I foolishly got on the scale at the gym the other day. And it did not budge at all. Tears started welling up and I got a lump in my throat. One of my best friends reminded me that I was building muscle.

When I look at Aiden and spend time with him, I realize that I am truly happy. Never in my life have I been this happy and fulfilled. But, it is difficult for me to realize that I made poor eating choices when I was pregnant and I am solely responsible for those decisions.

Some people ask when Jay and I will have another baby. My immediate thought is "Never!! I am not doing this to my body again!" Yes, it is selfish. Very selfish. Which obviously proves that I am not ready for another baby. Hopefully, next time I will remember my previous pregnancy errors and it won't be so bad.

As I started this post I went back to find pictures to compare what I looked like before I started working out and now. Yes, there is a difference. But, I want more!! That is just me.

March 2010



June 2010

Bad Blogger

I know, I am such a bad blogger. It comes in waves!

I did finally graduate with my masters in Educational Leadership. It was an experience I won't soon forget. Now I am at home full time with my little man and I could not be happier.

Aiden is crawling everywhere and getting into everything. You have to watch him like a hawk. He will find dust bunnies you never knew existed and then promptly put them in his mouth. He loves to talk and can say mama and dada. Although I think he doesn't really know what he is saying. He has started to cry when you take things away from him. But, I think Jay and are doing pretty well with standing our ground and not giving the items back to him.

I am not sure when he grew up, but he did. It is hard to believe that he has spent more time outside of my belly, than inside. He makes us so happy and we never really realized how happy life could be until he came along.

Here are a few pictures and a cute video of him playing peek-a-boo. I am looking forward to this summer, all of the trips we will take and posting them.

Crawling

You get creative!

When Jay and I found out that I we were moving to VA and we decided I would stay home with Aiden I spoke with Jay's mom about how scared I was to be without my income. She said "It will be fine, you just creative with how you spend your money." I guess you could say I have done that.

Coupons! Coupons! Coupons!

My mom is a coupon cutting machine. She stayed home with my sister and I and she was a freakin genius when it came to saving money. I do remember being embarassed at the store when my mom would pipe up and tell the cashier that their computer was wrong, and she was owed another 10 cents off. I guess I learned a little something from that. And to on to my adventures at Kmart....

Kmart is having super double coupons this week. They are doupling any coupon up to $2. This is uber-exciting to me. I am so excited about my deals this week.

1st trip:

3 Venus razors- $2.00
Tampons-$0.59
Baby Powder- $1.50
PertPlus-$0.49
All detergent- Free
4 packs of Gerber baby food- $0.36
Lil Swimmers diapers- $3.99

Total after tax: $10.04

2nd trip:
Revlon nail clippers: $0.49
Baby powder: $1.50
Soft Scrub kitchen cleaner: Free
Huggies diapers: $5.99
Softsoap body wash: $1.99
Sudafed PE: $1.99
Pledge cleaner: $2.00
Bag of reeses pieces: $0.49

Total after tax: 17.11


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Total before coupons: $74.86

Total for everything after coupons: $27.11

Here is a pic of just some of it.

And, just so you know, Kmart didn't douple one of my $2.00 coupons, so I went back in to get my $4.00. My mama tought me well.

Wonder how long it will be before I embarass Aiden.....

Loads of great pictures!

My child is the cutest! He makes me smile like no one else can.


Aunt Amy came to Richmond to visit





Aunt Amy played guitar for him. He loved it!





Our visit to the zoo





Aiden loves him some MMP!




Aiden and mommy on Easter



Aiden and Gigi on Easter

Original Video - More videos at TinyPic

Holy Cow 6 months!

It is so hard to believe that Aiden is 6 months old. A half a year! Wow, they really do grow up too fast. He is getting such a fun personality. He laughs and waves his arms when he gets excited. He is so much fun. He can now get onto his knees and I know that crawling is just around the corner. SCARY stuff!

Between being overly stressed about finishing my masters and leaving home for two days a week, my breast milk took a serious nose dive. I am now supplementing with formula. It has seriously broken my heart. I have cried for days. I feel very defeated. To me it was the one thing that I could give Aiden that no one else could. And now it is gone. I knew the time would come when I weaned him, but I didn't expect for it to be forced on me. It also means that he is growing up, which in many ways makes me sad. I am very joyous about the time I will be able to spend with him, but I know I will never have him as a baby again. Jay makes fun of me and tells me he is not moving to college tomorrow, but I feel like he is. Like he will walk out the door any moment and not look back.

Sigh.....over dramatic....